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Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

A single mother doing her best

Children crying upon her chest

She just wants a chance to get it right

But the man in her life is plain out of sight

 

This isn’t the way it’s intended to be

You’re supposed to be bouncing on daddy’s knee

 

Emotional loneliness starts to set in

How in the world will it ever end?

She busies herself for hours and hours

Trying to forget all of her hearts desires

 

The white picket fence

The dog in the yard

Dad coming home from a long day of work

To give mommy a kiss while the kids all smirk

 

I’m here today to give you hope

I certainly know this is not a joke

A single mom of eighteen years

I cried loudly into Gods ears

 

He knows your heart;He sees your pain

If you’ll let him in you’ll fully gain

Your purpose; His plan

Someone who truly understands

 

Forget the one who broke your heart

And let Jesus give you that fresh start

 

Written by Theresa Fell

 

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Somewhere out there on the street

There is a girl who’s getting beat

She running towards a better life

But once again she’s stuck in strife

He hits her once

He hits her twice

Now he promises to be nice

Once again she believes the lies

That this one is the “only” guy

Who really cares and loves her deep

Here’s the trick now don’t you know

It’s a cycle of abuse status quo just let it go

It starts so small; one could miss

That betraying first lovely kiss

He convinces her she has no friends

He’s the only one who’ll be there till the end

Family is the next one down on his list

Assuring her she won’t be missed

Once he has her in this trap

It comes along that first slap

She tries to leave with kids in tow

Uh oh, there it is that first blow

Fear sets in she’s scared to tell

Living in this lonely hell

No one there to understand

How it got so out of hand

Living in the guilt and shame

People pointing fingers of blame

She’s left alone now in this game

By friends and family all the same

All it takes to break this dame

Is one person who will come along

And stand beside her right or wrong

Who believes that she is worthy of something more

Yes, one man, who understands

And if were sitting there in our righteousness

Continuing on in idleness

How will she ever know

There’s only one man who can save her soul

Show her the love of Christ is delivery

And he will pull her out of this misery

Jesus is the one true beau

Who’ll love her more than she could ever know!

Written by: Theresa Fell

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Broken

Desperate in this lonely pain

There is nothing to keep me from going insane

Except for the heart of my loving God

I know it seems a bit too odd

For me to speak of an unseen man

Someone here to hold my hand

Would be something one could understand

Here is my dilemma can’t you see

That a human man will only be

A temporary fix for my brokenness

To fill a void of emptiness

But Jesus came to heal my pain

Without him I would not gain

The strength, the love, the fullness of life

So that one day I can be a good wife

To a broken man that would understand

All those things of the unseen man

Together we would clearly see

What we were truly meant to be

Two broken people who had to fight

To realize that we are nothing without Christ

Written by: Theresa Fell

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Surrender

Broken

Scarred

Angry

Marred

Battered

Bruised

Beaten Hard

Lord how much

can a person take

before the mind

begins to break?

I’m on my knees

about to fall

can no longer carry

the burden at all

I bow before you on this day

to worship you & give you praise

If it wasn’t for the pouring rain

there would be no healing in my pain

Only you, God can relate

you did this to wipe my slate

and free me from my selfish ways

So thank you father for these scars

It shows me who you truly are

A loving, selfless, humble man

Broken

Scarred

Angry

Marred

Battered

Bruised

Beaten Hard

Written by: Theresa Fell

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Bitten

So I’m reading my Bible this morning thinking of my most recent struggle and how miserably I failed the test that was put before me.  Although I choose not to let sin stay, the fact remains that I was bit and bit pretty hard.  I had a dream a couple of months ago that this was going to happen and even with the warning dream, I choose to disobey God and chased something that my own flesh was crying for.  My relationship with God (my one true love) was severed as soon as I carried out what was pleasing to myself.  I was completely alone for 2 days and knew that I couldn’t stay where I made a choice to be.  I needed God and was discontent and disconnected without him.   I felt like I was in the garden with Adam and Eve the day they decided to allow sin into their own lives and went to hide from the one who gave them everything.  I did the same…even with the thought in mind that Christ would forgive me, I knew not to ask as I had to check the intent of my heart.  My intentions were to please myself and once I partook I enjoyed it.  I had to stop and ask myself what was more important.  Here I was all alone, pleased to a point, but alone.  Without Christ I am nothing and for a moment that’s what I felt like…NOTHING!  I was empty and ashamed and way too embarrassed to go before my God to ask for forgiveness knowing that my heart had desired something that was not good for me.  I have made many apologies and still have more to make however, I have to remember that God is not of condemnation or of guilt.  Once I corrected my heart desires, I was able to freely ask for the forgiveness that God was so willing to give.  It was liberating to say the least and though I still struggle with what I want and what I know God wants, I march forward into victory thanking and praising God for his mercy, grace and forgiveness!  Philippians 3:12-14  I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.  No dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing.  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.  

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Oh how I feel so terribly alone

Walking on this dark cold road

The trees hang low and heavy over me

Even though I keep trying to see

That somewhere down this long dark path

There’s got to be a tiny crack

Just a peek of something bright

Whoa what is this blinding light

I’ve hoped, I’ve Wished, I’ve dreamed it all

Why do I feel like I’m losing it all

Could it be that deep down in the soul of me

There’s still some junk I can not see

God what is this your doing with me

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Precious Gems

gems3

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was walking down the street when I suddenly noticed a man sitting in the corner; homeless, battered and bruised. His hair was long and stringy, his clothes filthy and tattered and his sunken cheeks made his face appear old and weary. I don’t typically pay much attention to people I have no feeling for, but for some reason this guy captured every ounce of mine. My legs felt a little shaky as I went in for a closer view. I turned my head as not to gag from the smell of his uncleanliness. Our eyes locked and while we focused on each other, I noticed a gentleness and kindness that I had never experienced. My heart sank and there was a sadness that swept over my entire body for I knew that I didn’t have much to offer this man. For the first time in my life, I wanted to help! The only thing that I could give was way too precious. I placed my hand in my pocket to cling onto my lovely gem. I had carried it with me for a very long time and my beautiful stone was now a part of me. My grip became tighter at the thought that was now spinning through my head. No way could I give this precious stone to a stranger! He whispered, “come”. I released the gem from my grip and to my surprise I pulled it from my pocket. What had come over me? That was my favorite possession…the only thing that ever meant anything to me. As I placed the stone in the old man’s hand I was bombarded with thoughts of all the wrongdoings in my life. I walked away from the old soul with a bittersweet awareness.

Over the next several weeks, my life became less complex. I felt a strange need to ask the people that I had wronged for forgiveness. They were happy to oblige and I was peaceful for the first time in a long time. I was saddened a little with the thought that I had never really let anyone get to close to me. My father abandoned me when I was a little boy and it had left me feeling very alone. I figured that if my own father could up and leave that it was useless to allow anyone into my life. They would just hurt me and would only pretend to love me anyway. I was better alone.

A few years passed and my life was going well. It was pounding rain when I came out of the gym. I couldn’t help but wonder when this weather going to break; It had been pouring for days. I unlocked the door to my car, jumped in, turned on the radio and sped out of the parking lot. I had seventeen dollars burning a hole in my pocket. I was on my way to purchase the new cd that just came out. The store was packed and I hoped that there was still one left to buy. I stepped out onto the wet pavement and to my surprise, I saw the same old man that I had given my gem to!  I stopped, swallowed hard and reached for the handle to get back into my car, but I just couldn’t. I turned around as the rain drenched through my shirt and ran back to where the man was standing. I paused for a moment and reached into my pocket to pull out the seventeen dollars. As I took the money from my pocket I asked, “do you remember me”? The old man hesitantly looked up and with the same gentleness he had shown me before, whispered, “of course I do”. As I placed my hand into his, to dispense the money, he gently held onto it. With his free hand he reached into his own pocket and started digging around. I couldn’t imagine what he was going to pull out. As he pulled his hand from his pocket, I was in utter disbelief. His hand was filled with all kinds of precious gems. Every color and shape imaginable; I was mesmerized by the beauty of it all. He dug around the heap of precious stones and finally pulled one from the collection. It was my gem—the one I gave him. How, after this long, did he remember me and my stone? It was that day that I realized for the first time in my life that someone did love and remember me. So much that he was able to choose me out of a handful of precious gems.

1 John 3:1

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.

Matthew 10:30-31 (New Living Translation)

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

 

 

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