Perspectively Simplex

Broken

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:16:28 +0000

Desperate in this lonely pain

There is nothing to keep me from going insane

Except for the heart of my loving God

I know it seems a bit too odd

For me to speak of an unseen man

Someone here to hold my hand

Would be something one could understand

Here is my dilemma can’t you see

That a human man will only be

A temporary fix for my brokenness

To fill a void of emptiness

But Jesus came to heal my pain

Without him I would not gain

The strength, the love, the fullness of life

So that one day I can be a good wife

To a broken man that would understand

All those things of the unseen man

Together we would clearly see

What we were truly meant to be

Two broken people who had to fight

To realize that we are nothing without Christ

Written by: Theresa Fell

Surrender

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 03:05:03 +0000

Broken

Scarred

Angry

Marred

Battered

Bruised

Beaten Hard

Lord how much

can a person take

before the mind

begins to break?

I’m on my knees

about to fall

can no longer carry

the burden at all

I bow before you on this day

to worship you & give you praise

If it wasn’t for the pouring rain

there would be no healing in my pain

Only you, God can relate

you did this to wipe my slate

and free me from my selfish ways

So thank you father for these scars

It shows me who you truly are

A loving, selfless, humble man

Broken

Scarred

Angry

Marred

Battered

Bruised

Beaten Hard

Written by: Theresa Fell

Bitten

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:58:04 +0000

So I’m reading my Bible this morning thinking of my most recent struggle and how miserably I failed the test that was put before me. Although I choose not to let sin stay, the fact remains that I was bit and bit pretty hard. I had a dream a couple of months ago that this was going to happen and even with the warning dream, I choose to disobey God and chased something that my own flesh was crying for. My relationship with God (my one true love) was severed as soon as I carried out what was pleasing to myself. I was completely alone for 2 days and knew that I couldn’t stay where I made a choice to be. I needed God and was discontent and disconnected without him. I felt like I was in the garden with Adam and Eve the day they decided to allow sin into their own lives and went to hide from the one who gave them everything. I did the same…even with the thought in mind that Christ would forgive me, I knew not to ask as I had to check the intent of my heart. My intentions were to please myself and once I partook I enjoyed it. I had to stop and ask myself what was more important. Here I was all alone, pleased to a point, but alone. Without Christ I am nothing and for a moment that’s what I felt like…NOTHING! I was empty and ashamed and way too embarrassed to go before my God to ask for forgiveness knowing that my heart had desired something that was not good for me. I have made many apologies and still have more to make however, I have to remember that God is not of condemnation or of guilt. Once I corrected my heart desires, I was able to freely ask for the forgiveness that God was so willing to give. It was liberating to say the least and though I still struggle with what I want and what I know God wants, I march forward into victory thanking and praising God for his mercy, grace and forgiveness! Philippians 3:12-14 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

What is This?

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 15:50:43 +0000

Oh how I feel so terribly alone

Walking on this dark cold road

The trees hang low and heavy over me

Even though I keep trying to see

That somewhere down this long dark path

There’s got to be a tiny crack

Just a peek of something bright

Whoa what is this blinding light

I’ve hoped, I’ve Wished, I’ve dreamed it all

Why do I feel like I’m losing it all

Could it be that deep down in the soul of me

There’s still some junk I can not see

God what is this your doing with me

Precious Gems

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 04:10:24 +0000

I was walking down the street when I suddenly noticed a man sitting in the corner; homeless, battered and bruised. His hair was long and stringy, his clothes filthy and tattered and his sunken cheeks made his face appear old and weary. I don’t typically pay much attention to people I have no feeling for, but for some reason this guy captured every ounce of mine. My legs felt a little shaky as I went in for a closer view. I turned my head as not to gag from the smell of his uncleanliness. Our eyes locked and while we focused on each other, I noticed a gentleness and kindness that I had never experienced. My heart sank and there was a sadness that swept over my entire body for I knew that I didn’t have much to offer this man. For the first time in my life, I wanted to help! The only thing that I could give was way too precious. I placed my hand in my pocket to cling onto my lovely gem. I had carried it with me for a very long time and my beautiful stone was now a part of me. My grip became tighter at the thought that was now spinning through my head. No way could I give this precious stone to a stranger! He whispered, “come”. I released the gem from my grip and to my surprise I pulled it from my pocket. What had come over me? That was my favorite possession…the only thing that ever meant anything to me. As I placed the stone in the old man’s hand I was bombarded with thoughts of all the wrongdoings in my life. I walked away from the old soul with a bittersweet awareness.

Over the next several weeks, my life became less complex. I felt a strange need to ask the people that I had wronged for forgiveness. They were happy to oblige and I was peaceful for the first time in a long time. I was saddened a little with the thought that I had never really let anyone get to close to me. My father abandoned me when I was a little boy and it had left me feeling very alone. I figured that if my own father could up and leave that it was useless to allow anyone into my life. They would just hurt me and would only pretend to love me anyway. I was better alone.

A few years passed and my life was going well. It was pounding rain when I came out of the gym. I couldn’t help but wonder when this weather going to break; It had been pouring for days. I unlocked the door to my car, jumped in, turned on the radio and sped out of the parking lot. I had seventeen dollars burning a hole in my pocket. I was on my way to purchase the new cd that just came out. The store was packed and I hoped that there was still one left to buy. I stepped out onto the wet pavement and to my surprise, I saw the same old man that I had given my gem to! I stopped, swallowed hard and reached for the handle to get back into my car, but I just couldn’t. I turned around as the rain drenched through my shirt and ran back to where the man was standing. I paused for a moment and reached into my pocket to pull out the seventeen dollars. As I took the money from my pocket I asked, “do you remember me”? The old man hesitantly looked up and with the same gentleness he had shown me before, whispered, “of course I do”. As I placed my hand into his, to dispense the money, he gently held onto it. With his free hand he reached into his own pocket and started digging around. I couldn’t imagine what he was going to pull out. As he pulled his hand from his pocket, I was in utter disbelief. His hand was filled with all kinds of precious gems. Every color and shape imaginable; I was mesmerized by the beauty of it all. He dug around the heap of precious stones and finally pulled one from the collection. It was my gem—the one I gave him. How, after this long, did he remember me and my stone? It was that day that I realized for the first time in my life that someone did love and remember me. So much that he was able to choose me out of a handful of precious gems.

1 John 3:1

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.

Matthew 10:30-31 (New Living Translation)

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Kelly’s Messy House

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 06:24:44 +0000

Kelly is one of my best friends. She is very supportive and always seems to bring out the positive aspects of life. She keeps herself and her children neatly dressed and well groomed. Kelly has one downfall though: her messy house. Kelly recently moved into a new home. I hadn’t seen her for awhile, so I decided to visit her. Upon entering the front door to Kelly’s home, I was shocked. I stopped in front of the doorway in utter disbelief at the disgusting filth heaped all around me. Right in front of me stood a two tiered glass coffee table which was probably about five feet long and three feet wide. The glass table top resembled a maze riddled with rubbish. There were numerous cups, some half full as condensation trickled downward. Others were tipped over and drops of unidentifiable liquids had now formed little pools of sticky messes on the glass table top. The previous night’s dinner dishes still remained and I could just see the spaghetti clinging to the sides of the bowls as abandoned meatballs shriveled up like dry prunes. The bottom layer of glass was even worse than the top. There were two small pink piles of A.B.C. gum and stained paper plates that had become attached to the filthy residue. I thought about offering to help Kelly clean up; however, the thought quickly vanished when I looked to my left.

On the left side of the room sat an ugly couch made with a tacky orange and brown plaid material. The right cushion had a large dark brown stain; consequently, one of the kids (so I assumed) had spilled a glass of what looked to be chocolate milk. A heap of laundry, complete with soiled socks, T-shirts, and underwear, had been tossed carelessly on the center cushion. There was a rather large jagged tear on the left cushion, and pieces of the stuffing were scattered across the couch and on the floor around it. As I stood there taking it all in, I almost burst into hysterical laughter, but that was before I saw the mirror above the couch. The immense mirror, once probably had a shiny surface, but now it looked like a child’s art canvas. It reflected smudges of tiny handprints and doodling done in crimson crayon. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to look any further, but the shelf caught my eye.

Next to the mirror was a shelf holding fragile worthless collector’s plates coated in a thick billow of dust. Of the three plates, the center one looked the worst. I’m sure the group of parallel scratches were caused by using it as a serving plate. The plate on the left had been glued together, but apparently Kelly had not been able to find the pie shaped wedge missing from the center. The plate on the right was a Christmas scene with Santa in his sleigh holding up a bottle of Coke. Of course, the entire shelf appeared cluttered with useless items. My curiosity finally propelled me to move from the front door, and I walked over for a closer examination. I smiled when I saw the mirrored sunglasses with black wire frames which I bought for Kelly five years ago. The shelf also contained a couple of Silver Hawks ticket stubs bent and yellowed, a pair of earrings (one without a back) and a golf ball. Kelly had recently purchased her cat “Marbles” a new collar; therefore, the old one, blue with rhinestones, hung over the edge of the shelf while the upper half rested on top of the golf ball. A few of the rhinestones were missing and a portion of the blue had faded and cracked. I knew the collar would never be used for anything else unless one of the kids perhaps put in on a doll’s neck.

Below the shelf sat an old plastic bushel basket. One handle was completely broke off while a mass quantity of duct tape held the other handle together. The toy bushel was filled with half clothed Barbie dolls, Monster trucks, Matchbox cars, and numerous action figures. To top it off, there was a wool winter cap and one rubber boot adding even more variety. I noticed that many more toys were strewed across the room; indeed, these must have been the children’s most popular toys. A variety of metamorhasizing power ninja people complete with a small arsenal of miniature guns and swords covered the floor. Among the toys lay tiny pieces of wadded paper. I pulled my eyes away from the display on the floor, and tried to observe the rest of the room.

Across the room, on the right, a colored television and V.C.R. were simply placed on a rickety table. The screen of the television was coated with sticky fingerprints. Kelly perhaps thought it was a fine place to keep every T.V. related item underneath the table. A Nintendo unit was covered by its own tangled web of control wires and a few games lay both in and out of the square plastic cases. next to the Nintendo, there were approximately twenty-five V.C.R. movies. They were stacked in two neat columns. These may have been the one investment Kelly actually took care of. I knew that she might never organize the rest of the house, but at least this one little area was preserved.

Although the house was a total disaster, Kelly managed to get the clothes and dishes washed during my visit. I took her new Hoover vacuum from the closet and started to help her clean. I picked up the toys, filling the bushel to capacity. Kelly is a very important person in my life, and I have accepted her for who she is. I grabbed the dust covered mirrored sunglasses and began cleaning them with a rag. As the shine returned, so did the special feeling that I have for Kelly.

Chilling Faith

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:11:18 +0000

“Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.~ Oswald Chambers As I sit here in my cozy apartment I am grateful for the warmth and comfort that it brings me. However, the thought that just a few months ago I was wondering where I would be going or if I would even have a home, brings a chill over me. Not for myself, but for the less fortunate who don’t have a warm place to lay their head. With such cold temperatures over the past few days, (negative 19 at 5a.m.) I wonder what will happen to the unsheltered. I read an article in our local paper, back in December, about a man named Juan. I was merely appalled that the article was written about how the homeless were breaking into abandoned buildings and how unsafe this was for the city police. What about this man and the epidemic of homelessness? While it was reported that Juan went into the homeless shelter, that was full to maximum capacity, he was not walking in with the intentions of staying. All he wanted was a blanket. He was followed to an abandoned building and was asked about nothing more than his safety. Juan responded by saying, “It’s in God’s hands. The almighty take care of me.” as he pointed upward. Juan crawled into a wooden crate, that appeared to be coffin like, crossed his arms and went to sleep. I can’t even begin to fathom this man’s faith in God. His situation is grim, no food, no shelter, no clothes but what is on his back and yet he knows that his God will take care of him. The thought alone that this man has no place to call home burdens me. I’ve often thought that my faith is imperceptible and maybe it is.

Matthew 17:20 “You don’t have enough faith, “ Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.

Winner or Loser

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 17:37:03 +0000

I remember a few years ago catching sight of a television show called “The Biggest Loser.” I typically don’t watch much television but for some reason this show captured my attention. In a nutshell, the show was about people trying to attain the most weight loss. The game started out with two groups of overweight people. They were weighed individually and then as a team. Each group was given a personal trainer to teach, encourage, support and push when the person didn’t feel as though they could continue. As people were being eliminated and the groups became smaller, the need for the teammates to start discouraging and slandering one another became apparent. They were becoming mean and jealous of one another. At times, someone would fall back into an old habit, but the trainer knew exactly what to give them to get back into the game. These people were there to achieve something that they were not able to do on their own. Ultimately, one person would win and become the “Biggest Loser.”

We must be careful who we allow into our own lives. Are they striving for you to become a winner or a loser? Are you constantly being criticized for things that you know that you could accomplish? Does this person believe in you? Are they encouraging you? Are they giving you the tools you need to win?

I have found in my own life to surround myself with people who believe in me and my abilities. Someone who will shout for me to keep going, to keep running the race, not to give up and believe that I can do it! Jesus, your very own personal trainer, is right next to you helping, encouraging and believing that YOU can finish what you have set out to do! When you fall, pick yourself up and start where you left off! Don’t stay in that place that will leave you feeling guilty and condemned. You can do it and you deserve to be “The Biggest Winner!”

Proverbs 12:25-26 Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

Galatians 6:22-26 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

Relationship or Religion?

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 02:51:31 +0000

Do I have relationship or is it just religion?

I can tell others about God but is there action in my living.

My mind tries to think but it seems it doesn’t work.

Cause without the breath of God I’m right back to the dirt.

He said in his word that without him I am nothing.

I’ve tried to live without him so I know that he ain’t bluffing.

He said son why do you try so hard to do these things without me?

The purpose of my creation was for you to tell about me.

How I loved the world and sent my only son.

When I said it is finished it meant my work was done!

It was again how I said it after the seventh day.

When my blood was shed at Calvary your price was fully paid.

I am the Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end.

I died to set you free from the bondage of your sin.

Walk with me my son grab my hand and hold it tight.

The darkness cannot harm you when your walking with the Light.

I said Father, why do I try so hard to walk this life alone?

He said you listened to the enemy, the seed of doubt was sown!

I said Lord what must I do to get where I need to be?

My son you cannot earn my love for the gift of it was free.

Remember in our relationship that faith is your key.

And when you find out who I am, then you’ll know who you’ll be!

Written by: Samuel E. Shock

My brother shared this with me this afternoon and I wanted to pass it along. He is very talented in poetry and song lyrics. I look forward to sharing more of his writing soon.

~For My Son~

T. Fell - Perspectively Simplex — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:20:38 +0000

~For My Son~

My dear little boy so tall and bold

How I wish he wasn’t so cold

I remember the day you were placed on my lap

For my blue eyed son was not a mishap

We were both happy so filled with joy

It was you God placed in our lives, not a toy

We fed you, we clothed you and loved you so much

You gave us such a beautiful touch

But then one day things went bad

And life took away your dad

I am sorry son it didn’t work out

Please please don’t freak out

I really did try my best

I held you while you cried upon my chest

If I could take away the pain you feel

Let it be known it would be a done deal

Please son just know that the anger inside

Will only lead to despair and pride

I pray that God will give you rest

I know that one day you will be very blessed

For God knows what you need

And I know that one day you will surely lead

I love you my son

For you…life has just begun

Written: by Theresa